Best Advice
In the past few years, I’ve been a sucker for self help content from YouTube videos to books promising to show me the way to live my best life. It was full of advice I’ve heard before about being present and finding balance. Although they were great pieces of advice, nothing really clicked. I recently stumbled upon Lavendaire on YouTube, and I loved how her content really asks people to dig deeper by asking questions. What is your intention? Why?
The Lavendaire videos got me thinking about what is truly the best advice I’ve received. I think the best advice is to get to know yourself and consistently check in with yourself. I’ve practiced yoga for the past 5 years, but it took me years to really understand when teachers asked you to check in with yourself. How am I feeling today? What do I need?
At a time where it feels like nothing is in your control and uncertainty fills the air, it feels good to find something I can do that is actionable. My morning routine consists of yoga and meditation. During these activities, I focus on what am I feeling. Do I want a more active yoga practice or do I need more stretching? Am I anxious? Do I need a longer meditation practice to settle down all the frantic thoughts? By the time I wrap up my morning routine, I know where I’m at and what I need.
I used to struggle to articulate my feelings. I still have moments where I’m not sure what’s going on, but I can at least find ways to describe it. I now know that if my chest tightens, I’m probably anxious and need to step back. If my heart is racing, I’m nervous and need to move around.
Getting to know myself and what I need has helped not only me but those around me. On bad days, after my morning routine, I can communicate with my partner what I’m feeling to set expectations. If I’m extremely stressed, it may be a sign to take a mental health day to step away from work. This has saved my personal and professional relationships so they don’t suffer when I’m not in a good headspace.
How did I get to know myself and figure out what I need?
- Therapy was a huge first step to understand my tendencies and why I do what I do. By digging into my childhood, I’m able to also take off the pressure of trying to be good enough since that was an unrealistic expectation set by my parents. I also wasn’t able to define what “good enough” looked like. I was then able to change the conversation to what do I want and how do I want to feel. Therapy provided me the tools to cope with various situations in a healthy way.
- Yoga helped me tune into my body and modify to make it work for me. For example, I don’t do boat pose anymore since it hurts my tailbone. I know the difference between pain that is harmful and pain because I’m pushing myself to be stronger. Yoga allows me to tap into being more internal and seeing how I feel vs how it looks externally.
- Meditation is a constant struggle as I tend to be a planner stuck in the future. Meditation forces me to really take a look at where I’m at. If I’m constantly distracted during meditation, I know I’m restless so I will need to be constantly busy that day. If a recurring topic comes up during meditation, I know that I need to really process this topic to understand why I’m so fixated.
What helps you learn more about yourself and what you need? Lmk in the comments.
